Idiot Invasion
by Gangrel's Ghost
Summary: Hello, friends, (you know who you are) see what happens when a group of idiot friends get theselves lost in the srtange streets of Silent Hill. chapter 3 now up!
1. coming to town

HEELLLLLOOOOOOOO general public!

This is my first attempt of writing a fanfic, so if it sucks…sorry.

I figured what better to write about than silent hill 2, one of my favorite games.

In THIS episode a "certain group of friends" find themselves lost in the streets of Silent Hill, how they got there? Who the hell knows?

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely NOTHING related to ANYTHING! I don't even have a car (cries) Don't sue me…please. I also own a big empty void in my wallet.

That being said, on with the story!

Andy, Casey, John, Alec, and Phil look questioningly at the big sign on the side of the road.

"Welcome to Silent Hill!"

Population: slowly decreasing due to the recent infestation of mean things.

"Enjoy your stay!"

**John**:………………..awesome!

**Phil**: dude, were in Silent Hill. You know, that scary town from the game? How is that awesome?

**Alec**: because we know about the game and can therefore walk about with the knowledge of things to come, leaving us unscathed.

**Phil**: how do you figure all THAT!

**Alec**: ………….I dunno.

**Andy**: lets go check it out anyway. (Looks around) Hey! A conviently placed chainsaw!

**Casey**: NICE! (Looks around for another one, there are no more)………..dammit.

They all start walking into town. After walking around and getting lost in the fog for about an hour, finally someone says something reasonably intelligent.

**John**: You know what? A map would be pretty nice right about now.

**Phil**: Yeah, but where would a map of this town be?

**John**: Dumbass, didn't you ever PLAY the game? James's car. retard.

**Alec**: we don't know where that is.

**Everyone**: yeah.

**John**: well then, we go to Bar Neely's and get that special map.

**Andy**: need a map to get there John.

**Phil**: Hey! What if we press triangle?

**Andy**:……………………what?

**Phil**: remember in the game? To access the map you had to press triangle!

**Alec**: you see a controller anywhere?

**Phil**:………………..shut up.

**Casey **what if we just DRAW a map or something?

**Andy**: sounds good, but how

He is cut off by the sound of footsteps.

**Andy**: Whoa, that is the sound of a monster. But what kind, I wonder? Who's got the radio?

**Casey**: I do! (Pulls out a nasty old radio)

**Andy**: turn it on!

**Casey**: right. (Turns it, static emerges from the speakers)

**Andy**: I knew it! (Revs up the chainsaw, runs blindly into the foggy street and starts screaming) DIE! (Sounds of tearing flesh and screaming. Suddenly the chainsaw goes quiet.

**Andy**:………uummmmm….

James Sunderland lies on the ground missing his legs.

**James**: DUDE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! WHY DID YOU ATTACK ME! OH, JESUS, MY LEGS ARE GOOOONE!

**Andy**:….we….sort of thought that you were a monster………my bad. Wait. If you're not a monster, then why was the radio going crazy?

**Casey**: (looks at the radio) OOHHHHHHHHH, the antennae is bent. Were just getting poor reception. (Moves it just a bit, "I'm a Barbie girl" starts playing. Everyone stares at him.)

**Casey**: what?

**John**…shut that off. Right now.

**Andy**: (starts revving up the chainsaw again, looking at the radio in Casey's hands.)

**Casey**: shut it off! This song kicks ass!

**James**: (despite his missing appendages, starts to aim his rifle at Casey's head)

**Casey**: oh all right. (Turns it off)

**Alec**: thank god.

(Phil, who was dancing to that horrible song, stops and looks around. Everyone is staring at him. Phil looks down at his feet in humiliation and shame.)

**James**: (looks at Phil in horror, then back to Andy) kill me.

**Andy**: I don't have to kill you, you have some health drinks don't you?

**James**: yeah, but I don't see how a drink will

Andy grabs one and shoves it downs James's throat, forcing him to drink one. All of a sudden **MARSHALL **shows up and starts yelling, "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" James explodes with laughter, spraying the drink everywhere. Andy looks at Marshall. "Dude, you have to stop doing that!"

Sorry everyone, hidden meaning behind that last part.

**Andy**: There, all better.

**James**: What! ALL BETTER! MY LEGS ARE(looks at his legs, they are fine) ………uh.

**Andy**: Just fine.

**Alec**: Whoa

**John**: Yep, health drinks can cure anything.

The silence is broken by large thudding footsteps.

**Casey**: Oh, what now!

Nemesis walks towards James, rocket launcher armed and ready.

**Nemesis**: STARS!

**EXPLOSION**!

James is dead. Nemesis looks over his corpse, a grin spreading across his ugly face.

**John**: Nemesis? In Silent Hill?

**Nemesis**: …Silent Hill? Where's Raccoon City?

**Casey**: (looks around, points) I think it's over there man.

**Nemesis**: Thanks. (Starts running in that direction) STARS!

**Andy**:………………………..Kay. That was kind of weird.

**Alec**: Yeah.

**Andy**: HEY! Maybe Lara Croft will show up! (Crosses his fingers)

**Casey**: I wouldn't count on it.

**Andy**: WHY NOT!

**John**: Because she's not in the horror/survival video game category.

**Andy**: ……………….shit.

**Casey**: (looks at James's lifeless body.) Hey! A hunting rifle.(grabs the gun from his cold, stiff fingers.) that's mine now. (Looks back at James's body, starts checking the pockets.) What else you got on you? (Pulls out a full box of rifle shells.) WHOO!

**Phil**: Does he have a map?

**Casey**: (He is looking proudly at his new weapon.) Huh? I dunno.

**Phil**: (sighs, checks his coat pocket and pulls out a map.) now we can leave.

**Andy**: And go where?

**Phil**: To this X (points to a large red X on the map.) Looks like the hospital.

**Alec**: All right lets get going. Where do we go?

**Phil**: (looks at the map, points north.) That way.

**Andy**: lets go.

Everyone starts walking in the direction Phil pointed to. After about five minutes of walking, they come to a giant wall, blocking their way.

**John**: Damn wall. Now we have to go through the apartment complex or something.

**Andy**: Fuck that! Lets just find a way through it. (Looks around and spots a nearby riding lawn-mower.) There. We'll use that.

**Phil**: ………a lawn mower.

**Andy**: You got a problem with that? It's real simple Phil. You get on, run down the rusty, old, chain-linked fence.

**John**: Hey, yeah! We can do that kind of stuff in reality.

**Alec**: Yeah! You're right! Phil, take that wall down!

**Phil**: All right! (Hops on the mower, tries to start the engine, nothing.) What's wrong with it? (Looks at the console.) It's outta gas!

**Casey**: Look! There's a gas tank right next to it.

**John**: Wow. We didn't even have to look around.

**Andy**: The settings must be on Beginner or something.

**Phil**: (refills the tank, and starts the engine.) Here we go!

Phil puts in into high gear, and drives head long into the wall. It collapses like it was made of wood.

**Andy**: Good work Phil!

**John**: Yeah, nice job!

**Phil**: Can I keep the lawn mower?

**Andy**: ………………I guess. What are you going to do with it?

**Phil**: Kill monsters!

**Alec**:…………………all right.

**Phil**: KILL! KILL! KILL!

**Casey**: Whoa, calm down there Phil. Lets just get to the hospital without getting too…….excited.

And with that they made their way to the hospital, occasionally coming across a monster or two. Along the way John found a pimped-out, gold plated handgun and Alec discovered a lead pipe. Now that they are all armed, they feel more confident when faced with opposition. They finally reach the hospital doors, only to find….OMFG, A CLIFF HANGER! Find out what happens next time, until then………do……..stuff.

Please don't forget to review this thing, I need feedback or I will explode.


	2. the hospital

**Phil**: ooooooooooooh.

**Casey**: Calm down Phil.

Maria is sitting on the front steps, looking very sexy. (And this is real life, so the graphics are AWESOME!) She stares voluptuously into everyone's eyes. After staring at the group for a few minutes, she stands up and walks towards John.

**Maria**: What's your name, big boy?

**John**:……………..uuuhhh….

**Andy**: (looks at John.) J…O…H…N.

**Casey** (hits him in the back of the head)

**John**: John.

**Maria**: And here I though I was all alone.

**Andy**: Alone?

**Maria**: I've been waiting for James to come back.

**Alec**: But James is…

**John**: (steps on his foot.) um, he's gone home.

**Maria**: Has he really?

**John**: Yeah, he said that he was stupid to ever come here, and that his wife Mary couldn't possibly be here either.

**Maria**: How do you know about that? Did you know James!

**John**:…uuuh, long enough to find that out.

**Phil**: Yeah, it's not like he was killed or anything, Especially not by Nemesis.

**Alec**: That's right.

**Maria**: Oh, I guess your right. After all, Nemesis isn't even from this town. He normally hangs around Raccoon City.

**Andy**:…yeah. Anyway, we thought you could come with us.

**John**: Yeah, especially now that mean old James left you all alone. (Rubbing her shoulder.)

**Maria**: Oh…I suppose I could. You all seem sooo nice.

**Phil**: (quietly to himself.) Thank you god.

**John**: Well lets get going; we have much more time to get…acquainted…on the way.

**Andy**: He's right, we should get going.

**Casey**:…Where ARE we going?

**Phil**: (looks at the map)…uuuuuuuuuuuuuh, right here.

Casey: Here.

Phil: Yes.

Casey:…right here.

Phil: YES.

Andy: Maybe we should go INSIDE the hospital.

Maria: oooooh, what a good idea…uh, what was your name, stud?

Andy: …………….uuuhh…

John: (looks at Andy) A…N…D…Y

Andy:…….yeah, what he said. Andy

Casey: My name's Casey

Alec: I'm Alec.

Phil: and I am Phillip.(puffs out his chest)

Maria: My name's Maria.

Andy: We know already.

Maria: How?

Andy: what?

Maria:….huh?

Andy: (clears his throat) Let's get moving.

And so Andy, Casey, Phil, Alec, John, and Maria entered the looming hospital. The first thing they all noticed when they entered the building is how realistic everything wss. The game was creepy, but this was pure horror. Weird noises they've never heard before echo off the decaying walls. The smell of death is in the air. And the feeling of dread envelops them as thick as the very darkness that surrounds them. (Scared yet?) The group stands there, wondering what to do next.

Andy: Whoa.

Maria: What is it?

Andy: This is way creepier than the game.

Maria: What game?

Andy:………………what?

Maria: What game are you talking about?

Andy: Game? I never said anything about a game.

Maria: Yes you did, just now!

Andy: You must be hearing things. (Kicks a piece of rubble lying on the ground, sending it away to clatter down the black hallway.) SEE! What was that!

Maria: Where! (Startled, she grabs onto Andy.)

Andy: (just smiles as Maria wraps her arms around him for protection)

John: (looks at Andy.) Hey, Stud!

Andy: What?

John: Maybe would should explore the WHOLE building and not just the…nice parts.

Andy: (scowls at John)…….fine. Let's get moving.

Casey: About time. (Everyone walks by Andy, down the hallway. Just as Casey passes by Andy, he whispers into his ear.) You love machine.

The Hospital was scarier than they could have imagined. Every little echo sent them into a state of tension so great, that you couldn't shove a needle up their ass with a jackhammer. (Sorry for that horrible mental picture.)

Eventually, they all ended up standing in front of the door that leads to the roof.

Maria: Well, what are you waiting for?

John: He's in there. The one that haunts my nightmares…

Casey: Pyramid Head.

Phil: (even though he is still on the lawn-mower, which I have no idea how he got upstairs with, looks frightened.)

Alec: (the ONLY person who's excited to be there.) Let's do it!

OPEN THE DOOR!

Andy: (he grips the chainsaw with sweaty hands, and slowly opens the door, revealing that small rooftop surrounded by chain link fencing.)

Everyone stands perfectly still, eyes piercing the scene with a terrified gaze. Pyramid head is there standing with his back to them. He doesn't seem to notice their presence.

Alec: (trying to contain his excitement.)……………….WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THERE HE IS!

Pyramid head slowly turns to face them. This definitely wasn't a game anymore. His features were grotesquely accurate to the game, but ten times scarier. The great knife he wielded, bloodstained and battle scarred, gleamed dimly in the moonlight. Walking with low thudding steps, he walked slowly towards the terror-stricken group.

Phil feints on the lawn mower, putting it into gear. His unconscious body leans against the steering wheel, driving it strait towards P. Head. The mower runs into the creature sending it sprawling on the ground, and Phil, back into reality. Phil, seeing his chance for glory, puts it into reverse and backs the mower onto the still startled Pyramid Head. A loud, chopping sound bellows through the night, as Phil's lawn-mower becomes parked right on top of the, very annoyed, P. Head. After a few minutes of this…battle, Pyramid Head's body becomes rigid and still. Phil cuts the engine and examines the body.

John: No way!

Andy: Nothing can kill P. Head! NOTHING!

Phil: Nothing except a lawn mower, apparently.

Casey: That's all he needed. All James ever needed was a riding lawn mower to kill Pyramid Head. No melee weapons, no guns, NOT EVEN HYPER SPRAY! JUST A LAWN MOWER!

Alec: (seems disappointed) …you…killed him

Alec spoke too soon. Pyramid Head slowly climbed out from underneath the mower, knocking Phil over onto the ground. He picked up his great knife and stood up to face them again, this time, very pissed off. The radio that Casey had begun to send out a strange frequency they'd never heard before. P. Head stood there staring as the static became louder and louder. LOUDER AND LOUDER STILL! OH MY GOD THAT THING WAS GETTING LOUD! After the sound escaladed to a high pitched screeching it suddenly stopped, as if it never happened. And then, it happened. Pyramid Head….

Ha HA! Another cliffhanger! Don't kill yourself, you'll find out later what happens. "till next time!


	3. Alec and Maria

Pyramid head…STARTS BREAK-DANCING! Not really, that would have been dumb. What he REALLY does is start walking right past them. He slowly makes his way past the horrified group, and down the stairs into darkness. His footsteps echoed away into nothing as he leaves them alone to their fright.

Maria: He…he let us go?

Alec: (excited that P. Head isn't dead) HE'S ALIVE! But why'd he leave? (Shouts down the hallway) COME BACK!

Andy: Leave him alone; he's probably going to molest some mannequins or something.

Phil: (has propped himself back on the mower) …eeeeewww..

John: That's nasty.

Alec: Lets go after him!

Casey: ………….why would we want to do that? Why?

Maria: Why would he let us go in the first place?

Phil: He's probably SCARED!

Casey: Yeah, that exactly it Phil. He's scared of you.

Phil: I would be.

Andy: Know what? I would be too. Lawn mowers are mean.

John: By the way, why was the radio acting all crazy again?

Everyone looks at Casey, who is holding the radio.

Casey: What?

John: What were you doing?

Casey:……nothing.

Andy: Casey…

Casey: FINE! I was trying to find that song again! HAPPY NOW!

Alec: (sighs)

Phil: I like that song…

Maria: What song?

Andy: Lets just check out this roof and leave already.

Alec: (grabs the radio from Casey and puts it in his own pocket.)

Casey: Hey!

Alec: YOU CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH THIS THING! BESIDES, YOU HAVE A HUNTING RIFLE AND ALL I HAVE IS THIS CRAPPY LEAD PIPE, SO SHUT UP AND DEAL WITH IT!

Casey:………ok

Andy: Damn, I've never seen you blow up like THAT before.

Alec: It's nothing really. I'm just a little pissed off right now, that's all.

John: Pissed about what?

Alec: PHIL SCARED AWAY P. HEAD ON THAT DAMN LAWN MOWER!

Andy: that's it? That's the only reason why you're so mad?

Alec: What do you mean THAT'S IT? Pyramid head is gone!

John: so what?

Alec: (too angry to speak)

Andy:…yeah, lets just check out this rooftop for now.

Maria: Wait, I know how to cheer him up.

Alec: (already cheered up with just her saying that) HOW?

Maria: (walks up to him and whispers something in his ear. Alec's eyes get huge and a smile too big for his head comes to life. Maria steps back and looks him in the eyes questioningly.) Well?

Alec: (looks at the guys with a grin) I think we'll need some privacy.

Andy:…………..no way. You mean you-?

Alec nods his head, still smiling

Andy:……and she-?

Alec keeps nodding.

Andy:……………………….you little..

John: (pushes Andy and the rest of the guys back into the stairway, leaving Alec and Maria alone on the roof top.) You heard the man.

The door slowly closes leaving four very envious friends standing in a dark hallway. A few seconds after the door closed, the sound of Barry White echoed through the rusted metal door.

Phil: Barry White? Where's that coming from?

Casey: We're in Silent Hill dude. Nothing makes sense. This whole thing with Alec and Maria just helps prove my point.

All of a sudden, footsteps and the sound of something very heavy being dragged across the floor (guess whooooooooo!), echoed through the dark hallway. But it sounds like two of them this time. I'll write more when my body isn't so…tired. I finished this chapter at three in the morning so give me a break. Find out what happens later. Till' next time…yawn.


End file.
